Sunday, May 16, 2010

pocket of desperation

I am very thankful for God's grace. He loves me in spite of myself and all the many deep faults in my heart. I weary myself disliking so much that is within me. I want to change, need to change... It feels like an incredible and very uncomfortable pressure building in my mind and body. I begin to bow my head to the Lord...i feel the emotion welling up inside of me....He begins to dig down into my heart. My heart is like a mine, there are pent up pockets of dangerous gas waiting for the miners drill to penetrate through the hard layers. In a real mine if one of these pockets are opened and there is a spark there will be a mine explosion.
He drills into my pocket of desperation. His spark ignites these deepest frustrations of my being. I explode from deep within saying help me Lord, save me Lord, and oh please change me Lord. A few tears flow, I feel hope and a release of pressure. The pocket of desperation has fulfilled its intended purpose in moving me closer to God. I can already feel the pressure building in other areas of my heart.

Psa 51:8 Oh, give me back my joy again; You have broken me—now let me rejoice.

Rom 7:24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?
Rom 7:25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! I really miss you and your preaching, and your honesty. See you soon.